What I am learning about love

February 10, 2013

It is almost that time that I really don't care for any longer. The only good thing about the approaching day is it is my Papa's birthday and I really love him a lot. But, I have been learning and thinking and reflecting.... and oh yeah, I have to post a blog or the blog man-in-charge will delete all my stuff altogether. So, I might as well blog again.

What I am learning about love? Before you get to crazy, I am not just referring to romantic love... all kinds of love, friendship love (for those well versed christians among us that is the phileo love), the eros (try and figure out what that refers to) and the down deep, satisfies your soul, leaves you more whole than broken kind of love.

First, it is real. Love exists. It is not just a feeling. There has to be some emotion, some connection, some kind of feeling to even get you interested in sharing love with another person. Let's face it... we just don't connect with every living being in the universe. I don't even like all cats. But, love is not just a feeling. It is a choice, it is an action, it is a feeling. It has to have all three components. But, because God is, at His very essence, LOVE, then love does exist and is all around us.

Second, love can devastate us. Love can come into our life slowly, or unexpectedly. But, the minute we embrace it, it has the power to devastate us. I could theologically dissect this all day long, but, I won't for now.

Love can heal us. I do want to dissect this a little more. Since God is love, of course love can heal us. He is also a healer... he is close to the broken hearted, you know, all that good stuff. But, to break it down a little, it is the people that we choose to entrust ourselves to that can devastate or be a channel of healing as well.

Whether it is the friends I spend my precious free time with, or a man I choose to date or my family who I don't see every day but I don't have to doubt or question their love for me... when I open up my heart and let someone in, I am finding that there is some healing that happens. Each moment that I spend with my God, there is ultimate healing that happens in those moments. One thing I am enjoying is finding how love, in all its forms changes and reveals more of myself to me.

The one lesson I am learning? I get to choose. I can choose whether to allow love in, or protect myself. Just like God gave me the free will to choose Him or not choose Him, I have the free will to choose love or not. I have gone through times in the last three years in which I chose to close off and protect. I chose not to allow love in. Those were difficult and dark times, but I learned a lot. I closed myself off to even my closest friends. It was my choice. But, the day came when I realized I was not satisfied with that. Yes, there needed to be some protection for a while to get back to some kind of even keel, but, I could not stay there. Now, there are times that I choose not to let someone in, an acquaintance will simply remain an acquaintance, a friend does not get to come further into the next circle, a date does not get to know anything about the real me. But, I also choose to let the opposite happen, when I see that there is something inside a person that warrants my time, my attention and my trust.

I am still learning a lot. I don't have this all figured out. Let's face it, my blog, in some ways, is my journal that I choose to share. I will continue to learn more about love, about people and about the very Creator of Love. I am really looking forward to those lessons.

I do know there are two things that I would tell my children right now, after learning what I have learned up to this point.

1. God created love, let love in. Let Him in. Allow yourself to be stretched. In that you will find out more about yourself, who you are, who God created you to be. You will find an incredible capacity to learn, to expand, and to live wider, deeper and truer by allowing love to be in your life.

2. You have the choice. So when you choose to let a person in, do it with the understanding that they are not God. They might let you down, they might hurt you, they might leave you wounded. And if the day comes that a person leaves you broken beyond recognition, forgive. You can choose to keep toxic things or people out of your life... but always forgive. Never ever close yourself off to God. He will start the healing... and then He will bring others into your life that will help continue the healing. He will always finish the healing one day as well. Whether it is your friend, (God forbid) your mother, or your lover... God will bring the healing, if you keep choosing love. Your really just choosing life and choosing Him. But, it's almost VD so I can say choose love. But, at the very same moment that a person can cause damage, God can also use other people to restore faith in humanity, to restore hope, and to bring a whole lot of laughter and contentment.

Oh the theological parallels that are running through my head, but there is not enough room here. Suffice to say, God and Love are so intertwined that they cannot be separated. And God and people are so intertwined that we cannot be separated. Never think that today is the sum total. Life is ever changing, always forcing us to make the choice to grow and become boring. I am not going to choose boring.